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Tales From FEGO: #OnThisDay – The Last Valedictory Service

It was a Sunday afternoon and I sat in the midst of my colleagues well dressed around with suits and nice dresses. We were the toast of the program, it was our Valedictory service. It was our last day in our beloved FEGO.

The day before, I had to cut my hair. I have been lazying around since we finished NECO exams. We were as free as air. I had to look good for the day. I disliked and still dislike suits but I had to wear one for the day. I got one sewn. It was a colourful day. The assembly hall was lit.

There was no worry for food like my very first experience of a valedictory service in FEGO where I had to miss my lunch. I never attended any of such services until this day 12 years ago. I wasn’t hungry but had lunch packs for friends and family still in school.

It was a time to have one last hug, one last kiss, one last smile and one last look. It was a day to say goodbyes. I don’t think I have seen 90% of the persons I saw that day since then. Everyone has gone their separate ways. 20 kids cannot play together for 20 years. Within just about a month and some are already looking bigger than they left. The benefits of relaxation.

The awards were given – though i disagreed with one -, the speeches were spoken and heard, applauds and felicitations were continuous with well wishers taking one last photograph. I remember taking pictures with Dike, Niyi and a couple of other friends. Slum books were finalized and contact details exchanged.

It was always going to be rowdy with parents and teachers robbing minds and grinning from east to west as their wards bade farewell to the school that had formed them. The bad deeds are forgotten, the future is preached. Prospects of higher education was whispered around.

Yes!!! There was a book/journal that was shared that day and it had every student’s name and what they wanted to be in future. Did it finally work out? I wrote Architecture but ended up as a Chemical Engineer. I believe you are doing what you are happy with.

Twelve years look like 12 months ago. Thank you Federal Government College, Odogbolu.

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@AmosCP

Keep That Cup Down!!!

A Psychologist walked around a room while teaching Stress Management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked
the “Half empty or Half full” question.

Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change. But the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The Stresses and Worries in Life , are like that Glass of Water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens.Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And, if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing
anything.”

Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God – Philippians 4:6

Remember to put the glass down and pray. You have a loving father who loves you. And after Prayer please do not pick the glass up. Leave it at the feet of Jesus. He is more than able, nothing is impossible for Him to do.

Do not let anything or anyone steal your joy. Nothing’s worth it. Stay blessed!

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AmosCP’s Blog: 2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

What would you like me to write more about? Share with me in the comment section.
Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,600 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 43 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Stop Giving Boyfriends The Privileges of A Husband

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon. I was standing in my kitchen preparing an elaborate six course soul food meal for a young man I was dating at the time. I remember preparing each dish slowly, paying attention to all ingredients carefully, sampling each dish to make sure they were just right and smiling anxiously every step of the way. As I prepared this elaborate meal, I was nervous and anxious about what my then companion would say. I anticipated a positive reaction that would trigger an even more positive reaction that would eventually lead to us living happily ever after.

However, the outcome was different.
My companion enjoyed the meal, but shortly after, we parted ways and have never spoken a word to each other since. As I recall that relationship, and some of the things that transpired, I realized I gave this young man (and many others I was involved with) privileges that should have been for my husband, which led me to ask myself why did I do that? What was my motivation for cooking, buying elaborate gifts, giving massages, etc. to men who were only my boyfriends? I found the answers to my questions when I went on a hiatus from the dating scene. I realized I gave my boyfriends husband privileges because I was trying to prove to them that I was marriage material. I did this because I didn’t see the value of being a single woman, and I didn’t know what it really meant to be a wife.

I didn’t see the value in being a single woman because my focus was on the “American Dream”- having the white picketed fence, 2.5 kids, a dog and a beautiful home. Not only was I focused on the American Dream, but I was focused on all of my friends who were engaged, married or in promising relationships. I wanted the same things they had with their relationships, so I figured if I gave and gave to my boyfriends, they would see my wifely potential, they would propose and my dream would be reality. Boy was I wrong!

When I realized that the more I gave to my boyfriends, that the less of me I had for myself. It was then that I decided to shift my personal focus. When I shifted the focus to reflecting on who I was, learning who I was, and finding my purpose in being single, I realized that I did not have to give my boyfriends husband privileges, but give them who I was internally as a woman and that’s better than any home cooked meal or elaborate gift.

I learned that I had to be myself and allow a man to see me for who I was and not what I could do or give. I also had to learn what it meant to be a wife. To be a wife means more than cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc. It means to be wise, have a noble character, have strength and dignity, etc. and these qualities come from within. Also on my journey of learning and reflection I learned that just because a man (boyfriend) has husband potential, it does not mean that he is my husband, and I do not have to treat him as such. Another thing I came to realize is that if I gave my boyfriend husband privileges, we wouldn’t have much to look forward to if we got married!

Now I’m not saying that boyfriends don’t deserve special treatment, but I am saying that there should be standards and boundaries set in place and maintained on what we as girlfriends give to boyfriends. Many times out of desperation and fear of loneliness, we (including me) as women (girlfriends) lead ourselves to believe that we must roll out the red carpet for men (boyfriends) who have husband potential.

We believe if we do this then they will see our wifely qualities and commit to us in marriage, and sadly enough, some of us simply settle for a verbal/cohabitation commitment. The reality is until both girlfriends and boyfriends realize that the purpose of being a girlfriend or boyfriend (dating) is to assess someone’s character on a general level for the possibility of engaging in a meaningful, long term relationship, friendship or distant association that could lead to marriage, girlfriends will continue to give boyfriends husband privileges, and boyfriends will continue to indulge, and can you blame them! It’s like the old saying goes, why buy the cow when…

Liz Lampkin is the author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin –

Culled from:  madamenoire.com

The Awesome Responsibility of Chosing Our Own Future – By Pastor W F Kumuyi

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I cannot remember exactly how I came by the message below in 2010. Either, it was shared in our church or picked up from the church premises. Unfortunately, the copy I had was not in its original pristine state, so I asked my boy to recopy the contents of the leaflet into a Word document. This was done as faithfully as possible. Unfortunately, I again misplaced (“mis-filed” is more proper), the e-copy. I searched and searched the house for the original copy. Sorry for me, it has disappeared into thin air. I search the web for this article over and over, all to no avail.

Yesterday, prior to backing up my computer files, I just “stumbled” across this Word file in the portable hard disk drive I was using for the backup. Happily enough, this is the file I’ve been looking for since 2010. I felt this should be preserved for posterity. I…

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