Category Archives: Love

Handling Criticism

Today is the 102nd day in 2017. As you may have read in previous posts, I am on a daily bible reading plan and part of its 100th day section was from Proverb 9:1-12. It talks about handling criticism. 

When we are criticised, there is no point in replying to those who are merely mocking us (v.7). If we do they will hate us even more. But it is worth replying to the ‘wise’.

Our response to criticism should never be to ‘insult’, ‘abuse’ or ‘hate’ (vv.7–8). Rather, we must learn from it in order to become ‘wiser’ and to ‘add to [our] learning’ (v.9). Indeed, our response to a rebuke should be increased ‘love’ (v.8b).

This is far from easy – our natural reaction to criticism is often to lash out, or try and justify ourselves. Yet the wise path is to seek to learn from the rebuke or instruction, however difficult that may be.

For example, I have noticed over the years that those speakers who do not like their talks criticised seldom improve. Those who invite constructive criticism and are not threatened by it often improve rapidly and become far more effective. A right relationship with God will increase your wisdom (v.10), and enable you to hear constructive criticism and grow through it.

Lord, give me wisdom to be constructive when I give criticism and gracious when I receive it.

I believe this will help you become better today. Have a nice day.

AmosCP

With Love From The Bible

Few days ago, it was celebrated by many as Valentine’s Day with “love in the air” but what does the bible say about love?

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. – I John 4:8

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. – John 15:13

Do to others as you would have them do to you. – Luke 6:31

Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” – Mark 12:29-31

And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices. – Mark 12: 33

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. – I John 3:18

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. – I Corinthians 13:4-8

See what kind of love the Father has given unto us, that we should called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him – I John 3:1

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. – Romans 13:8

Hatred stirs up  strife, but love covers all offenses. – Proverb 10:12

Do everything in love. – I Corinthians 16:14

The Reason for the Christmas Season

Today is the 25th day of the 12th and last month of 2015, and it has been deemed as a special day be almost every nation in the universe unless you preach extremism of some religion like in Brunei, Saudi Arabia and the likes that have banned Christmas celebrations. But they cannot take away the joy and celebration being experienced across the globe. If there is no public holiday in the country where you are, you may want to apply for change of citizenship to another country, maybe Nigeria where there is a long weekend ahead in celebration of the season.

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Jesus may have not been born on the 25th day of December years ago, but he is the reason for this season. I wish he could be the reason for every season because we ought to live for him. My Christmas is daily because he lives on in me. Every day is special for me just I am special to him at every moment. Jesus doesn’t wait till my birth anniversary to bless me. He blesses me daily. Am I not special? Are you not special?

The Christmas season is a season of givings and happiness. There is always a degree of reunion in various parts of the globe. School and work is on break, sons and daughters return home to their parents, families return to their roots. There is a super-duper meal prepared for all and sundry. There is food and drinks. Stories are told, games are played, movies watched and goals realigned.

There is more to this season than December 25 and reunions. This is a period to also look at the reason for our existence. The Bible tells us that the wise men asked, “Where is He who has been born King?” (Matthew 2:2).  That’s a good question to ask ourselves today—where is Jesus Christ in our lives? Are we living for Him? Is He a priority or have we put that relationship on a back burner, out of sight? He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, but is He truly reigning in your life this Christmas season and after? Come to Him today, bow before Him, and let Him restore your soul.

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In all thy celebration, if you are not saved your celebration is in vain. Work with God and see how he will celebrate you daily, showering you with unimaginable blessings.

Let Him be born into your life. He lives in me.

Remember to give to the less privileged and needy. Be merry and happy.

Enjoy.

By @AmosCP

Can You Afford Her?

I stumbled upen Ebuka’s facebook wall. It was as actively controversial as ever. But I read a piece I had to share. It is long but is worth the read especially for the undergraduates, fresh graduates and unmarried.

CAN YOU AFFORD HER?

I’m afraid I sense in your mail a burden of perplexity mixed with anxiety. You sound like someone looking for solution to an arcane problem requiring a stroke of genius. And that I worry about.

Relationship ought to be natural. It’s why it’s called relationship. It’s a natural phenomenon, not a life challenge. You’re too young to be even contemplating the kind of burden you are carrying in your relationship. I know young men sometimes want to prove responsibility by prematurely taking on burdens. They assume responsibility for the wants and desires of their girlfriend, and that’s crazy especially given income level. That’s not saying you shouldn’t care for your girlfriend; but full responsibility for wants and desires?! That’s a lot! And you can’t assume the burden of a husband when you’re not one yet.

I’ve seen this premature assumption of roles several times, especially on university campuses. Boy and girl begin to play husband and wife prematurely. They become practically married. And so breaks simulate divorce, creating devastating emotional trauma with dire consequences. Truth is, the average campus relationship won’t result in marriage. Realism imposes itself on young dreams. The girl is usually readier for marriage than the young man at graduation. That’s due to many factors, economics included.

Coming out of school the young man has no apartment, no furniture, no job. He can’t contemplate marriage immediately. He has to “settle” down. If the girl is impatient that marriage will not take place. She’ll move on. And parents do mount their own pressure. If she meets a ready candidate in the real world, that can spell doom for the original relationship. Campus love has many hoops to jump before it becomes marriage. It’s why I advise too serious-minded young men in school to relax about marriage, and young women face their studies. The primary objective of going to school is to get your qualification; it’s not romance. If you accomplish romance but fail to do well in your degree course, that’s a romantic failure. It’s not worth killing yourself over a campus flame. There’s no warranty. After school, a different set of permutations emerge. Reality intrudes its ugly face.

It’s also why I quarrel with the artificiality imposed on relationships by some religious groups on campus. I’m told a young man has to inform a committee of his intention to date a girl before speaking to the girl. The logic being to regulate proposals and prevent “confusion” among brethren. Who dreams these rules! How do you operate a command structure for relationships? Relationship socialism?! Isn’t that a big brother concept – a novel regulatory protocol? When we impose regimentalism on the natural order of life, we create artificial sociology. And that has consequences – terrible consequences which have not been thought through.
What I’m saying may not be politically correct, but I owe no obligation to political correctness, only truth! My penchant for saying it as it is, is why young men and women write me for sincere advice in the first place. What happens when the interest of a suitor conflicts with the interest of a member of the dating regulatory committee? How do you ration love? It’s not a material quantity. You can’t administrate affection through bureaucratic officialdom! And what kind of humans are we breeding with these programmes? Emotional robots?!

The fact of life is that some women will get multiple advances, some will get none. That’s a statistical reality. Life! It’s up to the woman with plural advances to choose whom she wants. Choice and personal responsibility are at the heart of relationship. Committee regulation of matrimonial and emotional choices is incongruous with the fundamentals of Christianity. That it’s even taking place on campus shows a lack of appreciation of the realism of life, or emotional dynamics. Doesn’t it stymie natural affection, the very notion of two-way choice and the opting out of a relationship option? Does it not have the capacity to lock people into emotional prisons warded by public and bureaucratic opinion?

Statistical proof of the efficacy of these regulatory regimes in producing matrimonial happiness is of course lacking. Instead, the potential for creation of sadness and depression is very high. It creates undue pressure on a young woman, as well as wrong obligation to an ecclesiastical order or collective.

It’s important that in setting a social framework for a society, we think of the consequences at the individual level. Freewill is central to the definition of “human”. Autonomous freewill, not encumbered freewill. That’s not freewill. If only… Where were we? O yes, we were talking about you and this lady of yours. The point I was trying to make is that you’re taking on burdens that are not reasonable or legally assigned. You won’t be able to meet the burden of those standards of responsibility. It’s heavy. You lack capacitation.

This young woman you’re dating, she has all these expensive dreams, and that’s okay, but here’s the problem: She expects you to finance her highfalutin dreams, some of which actually negate your union. She wants to live a good life, drive a good car, travel, live abroad… And she expects you to finance and carry the burden? She’s defined your manhood by your ability to finance insensitive dreams that have no grounding in reality. She has flights of fancy but is unconcerned about assuming responsibility for the price of her dreams. Truth is, she has no business dating you. You’re a man of limited means. You earn a salary. The consternation is that you want to shoulder such responsibility. Are you planning on robbing a bank? Will you change profession to bank robbery? Or how are you going to finance these fantasies of hers? I’m asking you point blank: Can you afford this woman’s dreams? Better still, can you afford her?

Your girlfriend is not looking for a husband; she’s looking for a financier. She’s in the wrong relationship. She needs to be in a quid pro quo relationship: sex for finance. I don’t know how this relationship will work. It’s going to end badly and you’re going to be bitter. You would have spent your all, borrowed to take care of her, and all for nothing. You won’t satisfy her. Why don’t you let another man volunteer for the role of financier, and you look for a wife rather than a project? Don’t marry what you can’t afford.

Copied.

Enjoy.

By @AmosCP
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